Light

How can the world be a horrible place
When it’s filled with the wonder of light
With the birds and the bees
And the whisper of trees
And the stars on a warm, clear night.

‘96

Tadpole

I wish I was a tadpole
That lived in a puddle
With lots of other tadpoles
And someone nice to cuddle.

’80

Infinite Balance

Infinity lifts the moon
From the sun’s darkness
And cradles the stars
At life’s heart

3-97
 
    

 

Earth Watching

As you walk
Feel the eyes of the earth
Watching

The flowers note your passing
The earth feels your step
The trees smell your journey
The rock stores your memory

The earth sees
What you feel
What you think
What you intend

Watch the earth watch you
See how it returns your intentions
Be kind and be rewarded

The earth watches

3-97

Balance

My circle of self holds my sun
My darkened sun lights my moon
My knotted heart is woven

My star shines through endless life
Through good and bad, up and down
Dark and light, day and night

Infinity is balanced
In this purple heart
I’ve chosen

3-97

Walk Gently on Earth Mother’s back
and She will embrace your step.

’95

Earth Watching

As you walk
Feel the eyes of the earth
Watching

The flowers note your passing
The earth feels your step
The trees smell your journey
The rock stores your memory

The earth sees
What you feel
What you think
What you intend

Watch the earth watch you
See how it returns your intentions
Be kind and be rewarded

The earth watches

3-97

Tree

Kissed for many years
The sun sees you grow
Upwards spiral
See all, know all, be all
Breathe
Grow

3-97
 

Depression sits inside my head
Like a lump of cold grey lead
Can’t wash it out, won’t hide in smoke
This sadness now becomes a joke
Would learn to fly if I had wings
To join in when the birdies sing
I’m home and yet it’s not my own
Really just a shelter dome
Can’t hide it always, can’t keep control
Sucked in to this darkened hole
These people round I know they care
Don’t want to leave my sadness here
I feel like I’ve let them down
But just can’t hide my saddened frown
Days and days and days again
Of fighting this persistent pain
Stand back now and look at me
Swallowed by my misery
One day soon
I’ll fly

12-98

Flow & Glow

Join with the world
Be it’s many colours
Let your being flow
Let the spiral shine
In your mind
And let your heart glow

3-97

Journey

A journey on a rainbow road
Of ever changing view
From Security to mystery
In an hour or two

Through towns of lines and corners
Past fields full of grass
The wheels of countless others
All go spinning past

Eyes peer from places
Where I stop to rest
The roads all cross each other
Who knows which one’s best

Arrival holds confusion
I stand on strange new ground
I miss the peace of home
Time to turn around

3-97

Introversion

I walk alone
The Street is full of people

I walk in silence
Through the noise

Their thoughts
Disturb me

I scurry home
To peace
And quiet

’96

p>
I’m here now, ready to hatch
Look all around but can’t find the latch
To open the door and let me fly
Please let me out to be with the sky

8-98
 

Sister Moon

Sister moon I see you weeping
On this fullness of days
Yours and mine alike
The eeriest echo
Of my soul
Together we will shrink
Resting, healing, gathering light
And rise again anew
And shining, live on

1-98
    

 
Why

Why
When I fly
Do I loop the loop
Then hit the ground

Why
When I fly
Does a hand shoot out
And drag me down

Why
Do I try
To fly
Should I just sit here
And cry

12-99
 

Mushroom Pixie

If a giant mushroom
Should shoot up from the ground
And a little pixie
Should happen to be around
She’d have to kiss the mushroom
Then send out the call
For pixie friends to party
And the sun would see it all.

3-97
 

A Pixie World

Pixies Play in a world full of fools
Humanoids stuck to their customs and rules
A pixie is caring and giving and true
And knows instinctively what’s red and  what’s blue
Yet the humanoids need to be selfish and mean
And tinge everything with a sickly green
So it’s hard for a pixie to be in this place
Where humanoids show only half of their face

Envy, jealousy, greed and hate
Are the servings that come on a humanoid plate
They swallow them down and tell you it’s true
This world doesn’t cater for you to be you
Pixies can’t play or be happy or kind
And should be programmed to a humanoid mind
Yet the pixies can see through the humanoid shit
And find the truths through the dirt and the grit

It’s pixies that know the true worth of giving
And that loving and sharing are all part of living
And that kindess is something you do for a friend
Not the humanoid “means to an end”
And a pixie will tell you that it’s OK
for you to be you in every way
So although it’s hard here where humanoids rule
I’d much rather be pixie than fool
 
9-97
 

Sharing

Sharing the world
Through my eyes
Perhaps you see
What I see

Through giving
Caring, loving, sharing
My world opens
Bare to your touch

Step lightly
Go carefully
My delicate heart
Trembles

Don’t own me
Or I’ll run
Don’t press me
Or I’ll break

Do you see
What I see?

Be good to me
And I’ll
Be good
To you

12-96

Recovery

Gathering wishes
Harbouring strength
Following directions
Given at length

Mind in a turmoil
Soul in a bind
Wishes lay ahead
Strength lags behind

Soon a new beginning
Nothing of an end
Directions to be plotted
Messages to send

Soon as soul in centred
And body get to heal
My mind will surely see
What is and is not real

1-98

Have You Ever

Have you felt the earth asleep
While sitting in it’s palm
Or listened to the forest speak
A breath amongst the calm

Have you seen the giant mountains
Watching from afar
Or held a rainbow in your hand
And wondered who you are

Have you touched the purity
Of water running by
Or tuned your weary mind to find
The answers in the sky

And have you ever floated
Swooped and soared and dived
Rejoicing with the earth to find
That you are both alive

6-98

Rollercoaster

So check out the rollercoaster ride
Head now to the side
Abandoned
Can you feel the thrill
The fear of a spill
The crest of this hill
In madness I fly
Balance
Lowest of lows
Then incredibly high
Head in the sky
Lessons flooding in
Skin on skin
Now
Future fled in to my head
Body being all
Sensations
Confusion
Sensations
Bliss
Life could just be this
If life could just be bidden
Here I am hidden
In chaos
And love

10-98
 

I wonder
If these wandering words
Will ever walk the ways
Of the wild,
Wise and wary
World

6-00
 

    
My words have been away
Inadequate, inelegant, irrelevant
Lost in a lack of contemplation
Adrift, unfocused, aimless
Somewhere, somehow, sometimes
Something is right
And wrong
But not quite something
I can put a finger on
Nameless, homeless, blameless
I search for the words
Today

6-00

The road that I have followed
Has led me here
Now I hover
In a place at the base
Of endless dreams
With my eyes on the sky
And wings
That won’t fly

6-00

A Day

Morning
Not so early
Not so bright
Comfy and warm
Wrapped in the night

Gotta pee
Gotta dress
At the longdrop
In seconds or less

Cuppa, ciggi
Stare at the view
Ciggi, cuppa
Plot what to do

Check out the weather
Start up the day
Play, work
Eat, play

Sit down and think
As day fades to night
Light a candle
Cosy and bright

Play with words
Wander in head
Longdrop
Bed

Read till I can’t
Put out the light
Snuggle down
Goodnight

6-00

Be Gone
 
The world, it’s out there
Waiting, grating, eating at me
Where is the peace and harmony?

The people, they’re out there
Fighting, slighting, right and wrong
What is this war that’s going on?

Me, I’m here
Living, giving, trying to cope
Watching for a sign of hope

Chaos comes crashing in
Rushing, crushing, once again
I see the ugliness of man and men

Me, I’m lost
In a world of chaos
Hate and ignorance
Where I don’t belong
World, Be gone!

12-99

My circle is shrinking
Tightening
Becoming real
And unreal
Acceptance is hard
While haunted
Past pursuing future
Unknowingly
Arms out and eyes closed
I panic
I open my eyes
My circle is shrinking

7-00

Normality
Snatched away
I crawl
The screaming in my head
Becomes all

An aching weakness
Holds me down
Its safer here
On the ground

Theres nowhere else
To fall

7-00
 

    
Days run together
Clouds eat the sun
Two days then three days
Are rolled into one
Slow, random, fun

Skipping and dancing
And people to play
Like smoke and crystal
Floating away
Long, strange day

Cruising and drifting
A flicker of mind
Of days yet to come
And days now behind
Seeing, mad, blind

A falling sensation
A stutter and stall
Body is begging
Then finally falls
Dark, takes all

9-00

Do I fly now Im high
Blooming like the spring
Do I try now Im high
An which direction is the thing

Inwards like a root
Or outwards like a flower
Upwards like a bird
Or downwards like a shower

From the edge of this ledge
Can I fly into summer
Before the edge of my ledge
Crumbles in the thunder

Can I crack the cycle
Can I keep my wings
Can I float in all directions
Be at peace with many things

10-00
 

Id rather float
In my dream
Than run
In the race

06-01
 

I lay awake at night
Somethings still not right
Sleep dosent come
Leaves me feeling numb
Get back out of bed
To examine my head

Thinks it could be man
Thinks it could be drugs
Thinks it might be mice
Or maybe its the bugs
Perhaps it’s the dust
Or maybe it’s the paper
Could be it’s the soon
Could be it’s the later
Thinks it could be things I did
Thinks it could be things undone
Thinks its mostly laziness
And waiting for the sun

11-00

What to Do
 
Windtorn and tatteredThe shreds of my mind are battered
From inside and out
Winter depression
And winters winds lessons
Are filled with confusion
And doubt
Tired inside
And strangely unsettled
Pushed and pulled
Niggled and nettled
A screaming view
Of bleak desolation
And desecration
Of things I hold true
I hide from myself
In pointless distraction
Wondering what
To do

10-00

 

Full flight and loneliness
Busyness and boredom
Now I need the words
So I can explore them

My inner world in growing
My outside world is shrinking
The world goes on shouting
While Im quietly thinking

Organisation and mess
Creativity and tedium
Why cant my balance
Find a happy medium

One day Ill accept it
This randomness I see
I wish the world would go away
I wish the world would come to me

01-01
 

    
It’s a weighty head
But lacking now in words
Random thoughts rushing by
Like huge stampeding herds
Trampling on through me
Obscured by clouds of dust
A leg here an eye there
A disembodied bust
Half concealed in sadness
And undirected lust
A healthy dose of madness
And all with a coat of rust
Head is sucking lots of air
Trying to get some lift
Scattering all the herds of thoughts
They flee on legs too swift

06-01

Duality
Is there really two of me
What is this strange duality
A world that makes one want to give
A world where one must hide to live
One is blind and one can see
One is trapped and one is free
One can fly and one must ooze
One is tiny, one is huge
One is square and one is round
One is up and one is down
One likes work and one likes rest
One is tidy and ones a mess
Which is who and who is what
Is this really me or not

06-01

What do I do now
With this fit of depression
This strange loss of self
Nothing goes according to plan
Can I centre in myself
I keep flying away
Is isn’t
Cycles, timing, all awry
Why
How do I staple down this strange separation
This floating sensation
This urge to hide
Where is my guide
Where is it Im trying to go

09-01
 

Floating now in a strange sort of loop
Feeling lonely and acting aloof
Wishing for closeness but fearing the crowd
Outside in calmness, inside screaming aloud

Theres a part of me that’s missing still
A part of me just over that hill
A part that’s fled in futile fear
A part that’s left me lonely here

When I track it down its wrapped in fright
In denial of its endless flight
Wanting just to hold and share
Without a future, without a care

12-01
 

Information Breathes
Pictures don’t move and words have no shape
    Information breathes
Lessons learned long ago
    Things never seen
What do I believe
    Hands holding me down
        Who could it be
            Maybe its me
Light unseen
    Or massive vibrations
        Pulses and flashes and sparks
Finding the job of the moment
    Feeling the warping of time
        The pushing and pulling of omen
            The tangled linear line
Trapped inside my head
    Or maybe locked out of it
Conflicting voices who do I hear
    When I call for help
        Will anybody come
Will I always be lonely
    A part yet apart
        Outside within
Breathe into me now all knowledge
    Waiting is the hardest part
        I’m impatient to begin
            I feel the shape of things
                I want to see their skin

11-01
 

    
I Want
As a whole new circle
Swings around to close
Im left behind wondering
Where my new path goes

Feeling quite unsettled
Not sure where to turn
With brain caught on hold
And power left to burn

Im taking steps forward
But standing on the spot
The things I need are gathering
The things I want are not   

01-02

Drifting in the morning
Caught in a mind breeze
Floating here and there
Mind amidst the trees
Chasing random concepts
Sending silent pleas

Failing finding focus
Caught in randomness
Skipping through the garden
Swept to the dark abyss
There’s concepts that need grasping
And thoughts all round I’ve missed

01-02
 

Smiley Faces
Smiley faces
Are always nice to see
So come on now
And smile for me
Smile for the sun
And smile for the trees
Smile for the stars
And smile for the moon
Smile for a friend
Who’s not in the room
And smile for glowies
In the gloom

3-01

There’s need
There’s want and greed
There’s fright
And feelings freed
There’s life
There’s love and lust
There’s could
There’s should and must
There’s silence
In the space
There’s chaos
In your face
There’s starving
And there’s fed
There’s body
And there’s head
There’s comfort
Here at home
There’s loneliness
Alone
There’s both happiness
And sadness
In this sanity
And this madness

5-02

Book of Changes
For the world
    Retreating to gods
    Progress to light
    Approaching balance
    Dispelling fear
    Returning to wholeness
Seeking a teacher
Fully aware
Of change
For idiots
    Between, enough, too much
    How far
    To endure
    Eat rainbows
    Embrace generosity

5-02
 

    
Impatience with this waiting
Unsettled in myself
Keeping still
Is past
Finding cosmic order
Looking inward
Getting over
Being small and still
Prickly messengers
Bring clarity
Limited
To natures words

5-02
 

Plans
Every plan I make of late
Comes tumbling down in ruins
Finding the job of the moment
Sure takes some fucking doing
I’m listening and waiting for things to begin
I’m waiting and listening for voices within
There’s no-one out there answering
There’s nothing new to start
I’m floating inside a flame
I’m feeling and falling apart
I’m waiting and listening for voices without
I’m listening and waiting and beginning to doubt
I’m lonely now in freedom
It’s heavy in my hands
I’m wondering about the world
And freeing fucked up plans

6-02

Storm
Alone
In a storm
Howling winds surround and pound
Horizontal waves washing round
Helpless here in winters hands
Paralysed – immobile as
Safe inside dry and warm
A prisoner of a winter storm

4-02

Waiting
Waiting is
In a busy world
Senses sharpened
Feathers curled
Focused in the future
Now becoming past
Time warping weirdly
Slow overtaking fast
Distracted in a moment
Attention span so short
Time becoming liquid
Brain becoming caught
Missing precious moments
Staring at the moon
Missing out the now
By wishing hard for soon
If I enjoy the moonbeams
And marvel at the waves
I get to feel the moments
And spend the time it saves

9-02
 

Present in the future
Lost amidst the past
Missing endless moments
Time flies by so fast
Wondering at the outcome
Growing with the grass
Panic on the edges
How long will it last
Floating on this ocean
A ship without a mast
Walking down the centre
Straying from the path

10-02

Enough of Me
Two Pixies
One for you
One for me
One to play
One to be
To be in me
To play with you
To play in me
To be with you
When to play
When to be
Which for you
Which for me
Where to go
What to see
When to go
Where to be
Why isn’t there
Enough of me
11-02

You make me float
Disconnected from the ground
Lost in space
When you’re around
Washed away
In rushing rivers of emotion
Floating on
This baseless starry ocean
Suspended over
Endless deeps
My heart now sings
My brain now sleeps

11-02

Along this road we travel
Now side by side
And while together or apart
We’re in for the ride
It has its twists
It has its turns
Its rises and its falls
It has its ups
It has its downs
Its thrills and its thralls

2-03

    
There’s a dark hole
Inside my head
Where dark thoughts
Are bred
Covered up
By a silver dome
These thoughts are trapped
Not free to roam
Just filling space
With silent groans

12-02

Together
Together we were born
Into life anew
Together we were thrown
Destiny is true
Together we have panicked
Together we have flown
Together we have wondered
Together we have known
Together we have been to places
That we have never been
Together we have seen the things
We only dared to dream

12-02
 

This time path
Has few choices
Or am I missing them

11-02

Floating along after my nose
Who says where this path goes
Are there turns I just can’t see
Who is this steering me
Called to things I never thought
A part of lessons being taught
Given things for which I’ve asked
To enjoy I must forget the past
Swept along right off my feet
Into the arms of one so sweet
I look away from the abyss
And hide myself in sweetest bliss

11-02
 

A calmness now
Is part of me
Future wrapped
In mystery
Is this now
My destiny
I guess I’ll have
To wait and see

A slow progress
In my pace
A step toward
A brighter place
A distant future
Coming on
Nothings right
But nothings wrong
6-03
 

I want to run away
I don’t know where to go
I don’t want to work
But feel like I have to
I hate the wind
I want to do art
But don’t know how
I miss the bush
I miss my garden
I miss my friends
There’s never enough time
I’m stressed
I’m boring
I’m crying

10-3-05

Open your mind
Let it fly away
The hurt in your head
The dark in your day

12-04

    
No space for me
No place for me
Nowhere to hide
Turmoil and terror
And longing
Inside
Giving and giving
Until I am hollow
Teased by promises
But no path
To follow
Looking and looking
And seeing a wall
Climbing and climbing
Only to fall
Wanting and needing
To be somewhere else
But left here beside
The wreck of myself
 
10-04
 

 
And one for you miss Peace…
 
Why am I here
Wondering what I’ve done
What is it
That’s made you run

Why can’t I stop
The tears on my face
Why cant I find
A happier place

From where did this come
This chaos inside
Why can’t I run
Why can’t I hide

Taken and taken
And taken again
Twisted and turned
And coated in pain

Tricked and fooled
And purposely blinded
Broken and battered
And bloody minded

Angry and hurting
Deflated and flat
Told this
But shown that

Unconditional chaos called peace.
1/4/05
 

    
So here I am
Old again
Another folding year
Another place
Another space
Another falling tear
Things to build
And things to run
The onwards leading road
Looking for
The space to be
To lighten up this load

13-1-05

The End